Episode 357: Martyr Complex

 

Have you ever felt like you need to do more or be more for others even when it hurts you? That feeling is a sign that you may have a martyr complex. Many people in service positions do. It’s one of the qualities that drives us to service in the first place, but it’s time to overcome it. 

I did quite a bit of research on this prior to recording this episode because I was fascinated. In a lot of ways martyr complex and victim mentality overlap but they are, in fact, quite different. A victim doesn’t believe they have a way out and that their decisions have been taken from them. 

A martyr makes a decision to put others before themselves in all things. 

So how do you overcome the need to martyr yourself? Here are the four steps I think you should take: 

  1. Communicate

  2. Set proper boundaries

  3. Practice self-compassion

  4. Make time for your own care

Listen in to hear all of my tips and advice and let me know, is there anything I missed? As I was sharing information about the martyr complex, did you identify with it at all? 

 
 
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
— Dr. Errin Weisman
 
 

In this episode:

[01:49] I share the definition of martyr complex.

[04:05] I discuss what I found when I researched this.

[06:40] Martyr complex can get deeply embedded into our lives.

[09:39] The first step to overcoming the martyr complex is communication.

[11:42] Setting boundaries is overcoming tip number two.

[14:01] Tip number three is self-compassion.

[16:12] #4, make time for your own care.

[18:25] Thank you for listening!

Links and Resources

Burntout to Badass

 
 
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Episode 358: Habits with Dr. Kristi Angevine

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Episode 356: How To Stop Calling Yourself Lazy